If not now, when?

Although I love to write and speak about the stuff I feel passionate about, I am highly unsociable, a loner and if left to my own devices, could easily become a hermit without even realising it. In one of our weekly marathon work-life-and-the-kitchen-sink phone calls, my fellow hermit to be @smiffy informed me that I was an introvert pretending to be an extrovert and promptly despatched the link to an article in Scientific American entitled The Power of Introverts that outlined the whys and wherefores. Indeed, Matt was right, and as I can never leave well enough alone, I refined this to assert that I was 85% introvert and 15% extrovert, but this is just semantics.

It is not that I am shy, but the way I see it is that I love people, find 'em fascinating and go for quality over quantity. However, as I find myself at events and suchlike pretty often when quantity is de rigeur, I have found ways to thoroughly enjoy myself by just observing. I'm happy to chat with folk if this occurs naturally, but otherwise find that the ebb and flow of people's interactions and the snippets I garner from the conversations going on within earshot provide ample food for thought as I ponder the vagaries of the human condition.

I seem to ponder thematically, with one theme prevailing for a period of time until I have pondered it to death, such as why people ask each other how they are when they would be horrified if the person actually answered truthfully or what the top 3 topics are for people who do a certain job. It's usually more deep and philosophical than that, but I figured that my musings about Jung or Freud's theories applied to people you don't know would be overkill.

There is one worrying observation I have made of late and it seems to be pandemic; most people are just not here now.

I have observed 4 main states of not being here now-ness. There are those who are stuck in the past, some of whom are basking in past glories and others whom are lamenting about what coulda, woulda or shoulda been. There are then those inhabiting the future, with some fixed in a perpetual wheel of worry, referred to as the oh no what if this happens merchants, and then there are others who are chasing the proverbial dragon, spending an insurmountable amount of time and energy chasing power, money, things, titles and a whole host of other stuff that masks the real person and stops them from blooming. And so I watch this world of things I would not possibly concern myself with go by, just happy who I am and living in the present moment.

Sandi just visible next to a tree.
Where's Sandi?

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