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To a good friend: “My fiancé makes extra money than me and desires an enormous wedding ceremony that I can’t afford. It turns into an issue

To a good friend: “My fiancé makes extra money than me and desires an enormous wedding ceremony that I can’t afford.  It turns into an issue
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My fiancé earns greater than me and that is beginning to turn out to be an issue. It did not matter a lot earlier than, as we frequently paid for issues one by one and barely went out in the course of the pandemic. Nonetheless, now that we’re planning our wedding ceremony extra severely over the course of two years, I am beginning to see an issue. He needs to have an enormous wedding ceremony with a lot of extras after which an enormous honeymoon someplace on the island. This worries me, as a result of my wage is not going to attain this quantity, and I don’t need to get into debt. He says he can pay for it from his wage, however I do not really feel comfy when he pays for the majority. We pay for it ourselves and don’t even dream of asking or taking cash from any of our mother and father. I do not know tips on how to inform him this as a result of I do not need to damage him or make him suppose I do not need to get married. However I am simply desirous about our future if I by no means make as a lot as he does.

Dr. West says: Cash is without doubt one of the largest stressors in a relationship. Folks have completely different concepts about saving, spending, and what’s thought-about acceptable to spend cash on. They obtain completely different messages about cash from household, popular culture and society. Adverse expertise and data could make it troublesome to handle cash, and even trauma can have an effect on how we handle our funds. Mixed with various ranges of communication abilities, monetary points is usually a deciding issue for some {couples}. Our way of life expectations might battle. One individual might need to go exterior a number of occasions per week, one other considers it a waste of cash. Subsequently, regardless of any awkward emotions, cash ought to be mentioned earlier than marriage. When you’ve got fully completely different concepts about cash and the approach to life you need to lead, issues can come up sooner or later. It is time for severe conversations. You said how you’re feeling, so it is vital to hearken to what he thinks about it. Maybe he doesn’t thoughts, or maybe he expects {that a} compromise could be reached in different areas.

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